Yes, You read that right; My mother moved out, and for the first time in my life, I'm living on my own!!!
I am TOTALLY freaked out!!!
I don't know what to do with myself! I always daydreamed about the blessed day when I can call myself a strong, self-sufficient woman, with a cape and everything, but here I am, sitting in my living room, eating fettuccine, Listening to my culture's music, contemplating my life.
I have to tell you, it's been a long time since I really took a good look at my life...
I've always felt that one of the reasons I wasn't very productive was because I was I spent a lot of my time helping my mama feel better. It wasn't her fault, she's had a pretty hard life, and doesn't trust anyone because of it, so she has no friends but me and my sister, and even then, she's said that she trusts no one.
But now that It's just me, I'm struggling just a little to get into the groove of things. It's always been about mama, now it's about me, and I don't know how to act!
First of all, I've been trying to get into the groove of Inktober, something that year after year has become my "New Year's Resolution" in which it NEVER gets done, even though promise to follow through with doing a drawing every single day.
Yeah, that didn't happen... again.
OH, nope... nope wait....
I did do one....
and it's not even finished.
IT'S OCTOBER 12TH!
I've realized something...
I wondered why I can get things done on my terms, but when I set a deadline for anything, even things that I made the standard for.
Well, yesterday, I was watching Queer Eye, on Netflix, and in this one episode, there was a man and his girlfriend who were about to have a baby, but the poor woman was getting no help from him! I mean for God sake, she's NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!!! She can't even bend over to pick anything up, and the place looks like an absolute sty!!
It stinks in there, there are bugs all over plates.... Ugh.
Then, Karamo is standing in the kitchen with him and makes the guy look out over the mess in his kitchen and living room, and he asks the guy, "okay, what do you see?"
The guy looks over the open space filled with crust and disgust, and says, "a mess."
"Do you know what I see?" Karamo says. The guy's like, "no," And Karamo's like, "I look at this and I see someone who's overwhelmed."
And I'm sitting here and thinking Dude! That's the tweet right there!!!
Because I realized something about why I just won't finish half the things I started, or not even touch them at all, and why my half done work was in this, like, huge stack in the corner in my room... My mom hasn't moved her things out of my spare room yet.
Also, I'm overwhelmed!
Why didn't I see this sooner!?
There are so many things that I want to get done, and I didn't understand why I was so fricking burnt out before I ever start!
I know that I'll get them all done, but the one thing I won't do is act like this can go on any longer.
Here's the new tactic I'm taking:
It's not about finishing,
My name is Margo, and there's nothing much to me, I'm just a passionate artist enjoying the little things, working to live off of my passions. Oh, and documenting my crazy, artsy journey as I do it. ENJOY!